Singled out on Facebook

Yesterday, I received the following Email from a guy in response to my recent blog entitled, “Females Don’t Play Fair on Facebook:” 

I have one question that I don’t believe you answered in your article.  What does it mean when a female does not indicate relationship status on Facebook at all, they just list gender, hometown, current city, but they don’t indicate relationship status?

“Fair question,” I responded, laughing at my new “Dear Debbie” role on Examiner.com.

“It just means that they are choosing, for one reason or another, to keep that information unpublicized.  Granted, if they are happily married or engaged they would undoubtedly list themselves as such.

“SINGLE” is only societally acceptable to shout from a mountain top while one is waiting in line for a chair lift at a ski resort and “Dating a Douchebag” is unfortunately not an option in the drop-down menu.”

That helps, thank you. Just a little more clarification on why you wouldn’t list that you are “single?” I list that I am single.  Maybe I shouldn’t?  What do you think?…I enjoy your analysis by the way…

“It’s all personal preference,” I replied.

“I choose not to have my relational status broadcast like a billboard because my friends know if I am single, dating like it’s my job, or in a relationship, just as they will know when I get married because they will be a part of the small ceremony at the campground of my choosing.

But until that blissful ‘KOA’ day, I see no point switching things back and forth as I navigate these crazy canals of dating from “Single” to “Online Dating/Thus Suicidal” back to “Hot Sexy Mess” and landing back at “In a Relationship” again.

Single.

The conversation isn’t as simple as “Are Your Eyes Real? (That’s another odd question I get on a regular basis. Uhh, Excuse me?…)

The “Why Are you Single?” question has many possible interpretations.

Here are some INTERPRETATIONS I take away from that question:

• What is wrong with you? (there’s a softball)
• What is wrong with everyone else that they don’t see what I see?
• You are clearly hanging out in bars and meeting the wrong people…
• Is there something I’m not seeing, like bad hygiene, poor social skills, or the strong stench of desperation?
• Your bar is clearly set way too high. Lower it immediately.
• You’re running out of time…just settle for God’s sake!!!
• I’m asking this question to soothe your battered ego when in actuality I know EXACTLY why you are single.
• What else do I say to someone so jaded by the pathetic pickin’s?
• I don’t really want to know why YOU think you are still single. I’d REALLY like to ask the guys you’ve dated why you are still single.  Numbers please…?

Here are some potential COMEBACKS to the “Why Are You Single?” question:

• Just lucky, I guess.
• I enjoy not being anyone’s anything.
• I like to leave my socks wherever I want and my bras strewn about the kitchen.
• I think it would take the spontaneity out of going to bed completely and utterly alone every night.
• It hasn’t seemed worth the blood test.
• Just because someone’s been caught doesn’t mean they’re a great catch.
• I model my life after Christ.  Even God is single.
• These days, I can push the snooze alarm on my biological clock.  I’m holding out for someone worth sleeping next to.
• I’m waiting for the guy that can develop a hell of a beer gut and never lift the toilet seat.
• I only want to deal with one set of relatives.
• My boyfriend got married.
• I’m not looking to settle down, I am looking to settle up.  The man I marry will cause me to be a better version of who I already am…